


Dear Jeremy

by Space_ninja



Series: Forever Yours [9]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23196259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_ninja/pseuds/Space_ninja
Summary: "Now i don't have a excuse to stay alive."I made another one bc why not
Relationships: Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Series: Forever Yours [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654501
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Dear Jeremy

**Author's Note:**

> suicide is kinda a big part of this story so pls be careful with your own mental health

Dear, Jeremy 

I want to live. I don't want to die, at least not yet. But right now I can't find a reason to live. I'm grasping at straws, trying to find something. My parents aren't helping, my sister, my friends, none of them are helping. I'm not ok, I'm dying inside, but I don't want to. Fuck I want to be happy, but I cant. I'm overwhelmed, I'm scared, and I don't want to live like this. I cant live like this. The breakdowns just keep getting worse, the nightmares are worse, the voices are louder, it's all too much. I'm just not going to get better. There were few times in the past two years I've felt like I wanted to live, and most of those times were with you. Honestly if it wasn't for you I would have downed those extra pills. The first time I tried to kill myself it was February 18th 2018 the thing that stopped me was my mom. She needed me and I couldn't hurt her. The closest I ever got was March 16th 2019. My dad stopped me, he had already lost so much I couldn't take more. The idea of abandoning him is what kept me from bleeding out. The last time was last month and I stopped because I knew it would hurt you. Because I knew you would blame yourself, so I didn't. But now I'm just getting worse, now I'm pretty sure you would all be better off without me. Now i don't have a excuse to stay alive. I need you, more than I'd like to admit and more than I should. I need you because you remind me why I want to live. You make me feel like I matter. I've accepted the fact that I'm fucked up, that its going to be touch and go until I die. I'm just better with you, so can you please just hold me? Can you kiss me and whisper sweet things into my ear? I want to feel better, even if its just for a bit. 

Forever yours,  
Michael

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my trash!!!  
> :)


End file.
